What character traits do you admire most about your parents?
You know how more is caught than taught? I don’t know how exactly, but I know that I caught my attitude on “races” from my father. I really don’t think I can point to a particular conversation or interaction, I just know that from a young age I understood that there was no difference between myself and someone with a different colored epidermis. Although there are a plethora of things I’ve been “un-catching” from my father, I give credit to his attitude on this issue. When I married someone whose skin tone I was not lucky enough to share, there was no hand wringing, no internal dilemma as to what life would be like as a “bi-racial” couple. And almost six years in to marriage, it is as much a non-issue now as it ever was.
My mom? Oh goodness.
1. In the midst of grievous hardships and heartbreaking disappointment, she never placed us children between herself and her husband. Never pitted us against him. Ever.
2. After years (20+) of heartbreak, she left. And took her 5 youngest children with her. It is the single bravest thing anyone I know has ever done. In the family and church culture we grew up in, it was just not done. Twelve years later I shudder to think where we 5 youngest, or at least myself, would be if she had not flown away with us.
3. She is just chill. The biggest thing I remember her fussing over is having a clean house when company came. She never gave us children a curfew, didn’t question our every move, and we obliged her by not getting into (serious) trouble. She laughs along with us in the crazy stunts and conversations we kiddos sometimes get into. Every once in a while she will deliver a ZINGER of a sarcastic comment that sends us into peels of laughter.
I’m not saying she’s perfect, but the older I get, the more I realize she’s pretty darn close.